I always tell the girls, never take it seriously.
If ya never take it seriously, ya never get hurt. Ya never get hurt, ya always have fun...
And if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Thank God for Dirt!
I really dig the new FX show, and I can't wait for Aniston's appearance in a few weeks, but the reason why I am ever-so-thankful that the new episode is on right now is because I was almost, almost about to go against all of my scruples and watch the premiere of the new season of The Real Housewives of Orange County (insert HUGE shudder)! I freely admit to watching the first season (like a train wreck), but the previews for the new season are beyond sickening. Ugh!! Those women make me want to vomit!! They make me ashamed for ever wanting to be wealthy. I don't even have the energy to go into how nauseated they make me! What I need to do is create one word that sums up pretentious, obnoxious, pathetic, and heartless. Any suggestions? I'll be offline until Tuesday while I travel for work. I hope to return to some really good options, people!
As I sit here watching the Golden Globes, I'm hoping to God that somebody could puh-leeze tell me why, why, why everyone loooves Renee Zellweger? Seriously! I don't wanna be a hater, but.... she is squinty, she is annoying, and I can't think of the last time she was in a movie that I would have wanted to see even if she hadn't been in it! She gets nominated for every damn thing she's in.... Am I missing something??? Am I?
BTW, did anyone else notice what a c-u-next-time Angelina was on the red carpet?? She wouldn't even speak to the reporters...she let Brad do all the talking. Very telling....
I do love the Globes above all award shows, so I must go back to giving them my full attention.
My nephew Eli is 4 (4 and one quarter to be exact). He is a ridiculously cute bugger, and he is downright hilarious. I have a ton of great stories involving Spuddy. What brought him randomly to mind now... I was thinking about how he says blanklet and calls his cousin in New York Elimy. I can't even say the former word correctly anymore, and the latter is just much more fun to say his way. My colleague at work has that name (the right way, of course), but I can't remember the last time I didn't call her Elimy.
What lead me to think of that was the song that plays constantly in my head these days, Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry. I effing love it!! I had no idea it was Fergie when I first heard it. Anyway, the line "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses his blanket" logically took me to blanklet. And here we are...
This doofy dude from Charlestown (Races and Slots!) somehow ended up hanging at this swank joint in Admas Morgan last night. My boyfriend (a-hem!) managed to slide out of the conversation, leaving me alone to endure "I was cruising Match.com for MILFS when I saw my ex-wife's profile. So I started responding to it--" I interrupted with "Do you like Pina Coladas? Getting caught in the rain..." Cute, right? I thought so. The guy, who was 45, said he didn't know the song. Please!! Who doesn't know the song?? But my point really has nothing to do with that guy, but thanks for sharing in my pain (my friend came and saved me right then, by the way). My point is that the Pina Colada song is great:
So I waited with high hopes And she walked in the place I knew her smile in an instant I knew the curve of her face It was my own lovely lady And she said, "Oh it's you." Then we laughed for a moment And I said, "I never knew..."
We all know that the best part of the song is screaming "If you like making love at midnight!!!" which, much to the shock of the driver and other passengers, my sis-in-law and I did in the car recently. We didn't even have the radio on, which is probably why our outburst was so jarring. One reason I love that song is that it reminds me of being in my dad's kitchen back in the 70s. He probably had soy burgers and homemade yogurt on the menu for that day. (This was way before Morningstar Farms or Boca had their hands on any tofu, people. We're talkin' straight up TVP -- yes, texurized vegetable protein -- in the very sloppy form of a Sloppy Joe. More fun stories about my dad some other time.) I don't even know if these songs were out around the same time, but I also hear Reunited (whose lyrics and tone made me uncomfortable for some reason) and You Left Me Just When I Needed You Most. Remember that song??? How sad is that song??
Michael Richards was clearly an ass. But must the stupid, career-imploding remarks made by a single type-cast, royalties-collectin' fool lead now to censorship in comedy clubs? Is this the effing Superbowl nipple fiasco happening all over again? I really can't wrap my mind around how a comedy club can have prohibited words. It is one thing to expect a level of class from your performers, but comedians can't be asked to prescreen every word that comes out of their mouths -- I'm not talking about the Michael Richards thing or any other recent incident -- I'm just saying that if you're gonna make a comedian pause to think about what s/he is going to say and how s/he is going to say it, we's gone be missing out on a whole lotta funny!
Gwen Stefani video: Cool. Gwen Stefani song: Lacking the Holla Back quality. I keep waiting for there to be some cool, rockin' chorus. I have no idea what the words are except "Wind it up," but I doubt that will make a difference. The yodeling is charming for a split second, but let's leave that to Jewel and Heidi Klum. You're aufed.