thank the gods i'm not an american teen...

after a lovely dinner with lou and hot mama at the razzi (no celeb sightings this time around), lou, kent, and i hit up a free preview of american teen. it's a documentary that has been compared to the breakfast club. see exhibit a:

the movie was really interesting and quite good, but it is NOT the breakfast club (which, by the way, i saw in theatre in 1985 and a subsequent 389 times). although i wouldn't put it past megan to have said "Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school," there are no great lines like "But face it. You're a neo maxi zoom dweebie," or "So it's sorta social; demented and sad, but social. Right?"

the kid pictured above in bender's (judd nelson's) position is no rebel! actually, mitch is far from it! he's the easily peer pressured pussy who also happens to play basketball. the real rebel is the kick-ass chick, hannah, whom we all cheered for and cried over (ok, prozac prevented that from actually happening, but ya get my point), and not at all like dandruff-shaking recluse allison that ally sheedy played. the kid portrayed above as the jock is far from "andy," who was in saturday detention for taping a geeky kid's butt cheeks together with duct tape; american teen's colin would never do anything like that. jake, the self-loathing "geeky" kid may have been an outcast for a lot of reasons, but unlike the geeky kids in my high school who went on to full academic scholarships at Harvard and are laughing at all those who heckled them in high school as they roll around in their millions of dollars, jake--with his there-they-are/now-they're-gone/there-they-are-again zits--didn't seem academically advanced at all. (although i did like jake and wish him lots of love and sex in his near future.)

the aforementioned megan is just horrible. i resist saying all the things i really want to about her because the movie is a documentary and megan is a real person, but WOW. talk about a completely unsympathetic character! she had no redeeming qualities, and i was actually disappointed at her successes--i so much wanted to see her fail. the WaPo review said that when she receives her college acceptance letters is "one of the movie's most affecting moments...here she moves us -- just when we thought we had her figured." bullshit--i never at any point felt any warmth toward the girl who vandalized another teen's house with the word "FAG," left super mean messages on a "friend's" voicemail after forwarding a topless photo of said "friend" to the whole school, and treated all of her peers/friends like crap, and i especially didn't feel happy for her when she got into notre dame. this girl is the main reason i am so glad that high school is long-ago over and will never have to be repeated. and you know what? megan isn't even hot--hannah is much more attractive in every way, and her story was most satisfying and literally had the audience cheering at the end.

***i really hope that seeing this movie was a real eye-opener for megan, and i kinda like that she is forever immortalized in celluloid as a snotty bitch. it's quite the same way that i love love love that those stupid RV-drivin' racist frat boys in Borat are humiliated for life for being such douche bags.

on another note, cell phones?? i am so so so glad there weren't cell phones around in my high school years. or email for that matter. just when you thought teenagers couldn't get more cruel, along came email and cell phones to more easily spread rumors, continuously gossip, and forward incriminating/awkward/inappropriate photos. i can't believe cell phones are even allowed in schools. the constant text messaging--uch! one chick was even texting while breaking up with jake. cheating freshman whore...

overall, the film was really good--i suggest you see it (waiting for it to be netflixable is acceptable). if you are like me, you will cringe for half of the film while during the other half thanking the gods that high school will never, ever have to happen again...

see ya soon...