weds night in the palisades...

oh my god, i chose my project runway fafarazzi team totally wrong—i was so good on top chef!! it is early in the season, and i can switch up my team, so who knows…? i mean, i didn’t start strong on top chef, i just happened to kick ass and finish at the top.

i didn’t lose power after all…

wait!! that was way too premature! let me reiterate: i didn’t lose power until 10:15. fare-lee-well to the million bucks. i coulda been a contender…i coulda been a millionaire.

so that’s 2 strikes--project runway and the electricity. what could possibly be worse? never having children?? forgetting how to do the hustle?? (i don't actually know how to do the hustle--sorry, rachel--but maybe this will help...)

so anywayzzzz…bats just flew right by my head. guess it serves me right for standing on the DARK DECK OF DOOM to watch the storm b/w commercial breaks…speaking of:

my dearest shitastic landlo'…

just b/c you have the rugged handsomeness of aaron eckhart doesn’t mean i am blind to your negligence.

i wanted to let you know that several times over the past couple of years i have slipped down or tripped up the back stairs either because the stairs were wet or because it is too dark to see (or both). i was carrying a flashlight and taking careful steps down to the laundry room last night; regardless, i slipped down the steps, hit my head, and bruised my back. this isn't the first time i've been hurt from a fall on those steps, but last night's fall was by far the worst and most frightening. is it possible to install lights in the back stairwell and put some slip-resistant treads on the steps? (the building attached to us has lighting for both the 1st and 2nd level stairwells, so maybe you could see how they did it...?)

oh, and while you're at it--can you PLEASE scale back the giant JUNGLE in our front yard? it not only harbors an entire homeless family and several species of rodents, but the bushes that have been dead for over a year have now turned black and smell like ass. we are an embarrassment to this lovely neighborhood.

thank you!

btw--the guy who lives across the hall has lived there for 30+ years--hasn't he ever cared that he has to risk life and limb to go down to the laundry dungeon??? (i think they filmed SAW down there--it is super creepy.)

xoxox,

MPL