I'm a Glass-Half-Full Kinda Gal....

Reason #5 for Penny Lane to love her job: Setting the voicemail to "evening" and taking the whole office to stand in a .5 mile line for free cone day. Jerry famously said "If It's Not Fun, Why Do It?' Indeed, Jerry. Indeed. Above is Pnut and the Rebel Mormon Wife.

Oh, and by the way, Mike Symanski is a Jewish Samoan Wrestler...more on that after Gold Cup.

xoxo,
MPL

P.S. have you ever felt like the elephant in the room?

this week....

bro-in-law and 'vonkie came over last night: guitar hero, bambu, flashdance, and some good drinks; fun times for all!

omg, this mylie cyrus thing is ri-dic-u-lous. i mean, c'mon! it's vanity fair, and it's annie freakin' liebovitz, and miley cyrus is 15, and she's extremely photogenic, etc. seeing as mylie is a minor, i am SURE her parents and/or management had to sign off on whichever photos went to print and, as you can see from exhibit a on the left, this photo was not taken with a child laid out on a bed or naked in any way that you haven't seen her before. she's wearing more than i am now and i just got home from work! (go here, item #1, to see the actual photo that is causing all the fuss.) everyone needs to suck it up and move on, and look at the outfit she wore earlier this month (item #2) at the CMT Music Awards. um, i can't rock that frock, nor could i when i was 15, so hail to mylie--you go, girl. own it! although the photo causing all the controversy is an undeniably beautiful portrait (not the one above, but the one referred to above as item #1), publishing that particular photo right now may not have been the best decision on anyone's part... and the shot/pose may have been manipulated, or the whole thing could be a publicity stunt from either camp--who cares?! LET. IT. GO. the statement mylie made just exacerbated the whole thing and made it 100x worse. you know what? this is a business. that photograph and the 5 million hits VF got before noon today (that, my friends is no hyperbole--that's a fact) did wonders for mylie cyrus and her career. she didn't get caught with an ounce of coke. she wasn't drinking and driving. and so far, no tape of her getting f*&%$# by rick solomon has surfaced on the 'net. today, april 28th, 2008, 89x more people know who miley cyrus is than did yesterday, april 27th, 2008. no joke. the photo above is mylie during the shoot that garnered the controversial shot. personally, i think the one on the right is down right hot, and i want that dress. thanks to vanity fair for letting me blatantly steal their photos.

how i met your mother. watch it. i agree with neal patrick harris 110% (also see here)--how i met your mother doesn't need to resort to stunt-casting for ratings; ding dang, y'all, this show was already great and wasn't hurting in the ratings when brit guest-starred. i sometimes (always) hate when my favorite song becomes everyone's favorite song, but i definitely don't hate it when my favorite show becomes everyone's favorite show. it gives me hope that other people "get it." y'dig? case in point: i feel connected to people who love friends as much as i do. it means we get the same joke. i feel connected to people who love "best in show," "waiting for guffman," and "a mighty wind" as much as i do. it means they get that kind of humor; people who don't get that kind of humor are missing out. i love people with whom i can speak in mostly movie quotes. it means we have the same pop-culture experience--we're of the same cloth. ;) hyperbole, anyone? all i mean is watch how i met your mother; i think you'll like it. try to start from the beginning before ya start watching brand new eps. this goes against everything upon which my PhD is based (my dissertation, "why the first seasons of all long-term sitcoms suck," is oft-quoted in Ivy League courses), but how i met your mother is actually best seen from point a.

enough for now--it's all happening, and we're missing it!

xoxo,

MPL

P.S. missing you, lou! hope it is sizzling in miami b/c we're swimming in rain water here. you deserve only the best!

when metro doesn't open doors...

This is not my bus. No, that's the 38B bus--it runs from G'town over Key Bridge to Rosslyn in the evening. I know this because when I am waiting for the D5 to go home after work, the 38B comes by every 5 freakin' minutes. The Little Blue Bus, which also goes over Key Bridge to Rosslyn, comes every 10 minutes in the evening. The D5? Oh, Lordie--maybe every 20-30 minutes tops?? Yes, I am one of the lucky few who relies upon the D5; a rush-hour, one-way-only route, the D5 runs into town along MacArthur Blvd to M Street from 7 a.m. to 9. a.m, and runs outta town via M Street to MacArthur Blvd from 5:00-6:45 p.m. That's it folks--other than at those times, that bus does not exist. The D5 is a phantom. The following, which should speak for itself, is the 4th or 5th complaint I've written to the WMATA since I've lived in the Palisades (2 yrs 1 month).

Neither the 8:31 nor the 8:58 D5 ever came to 4474 MacArthur today, and I don't think the one scheduled before did, either. What happened?? The D5 is a rush-hour only bus; when the last two of the morning don't show up, people are stranded on their way to work. I had to take a $15 taxi, and I was quite late. It is unacceptable that the operator with whom I spoke at 8:51 a.m. could not give me any information on the where-abouts of our buses.

If the Lords of the Washington Metro write me back, I'll post their response.

On the up-side (I am a glass 1/2 full kinda gal, y'know), I got to spend about 40 minutes reading the Green Issue of Vanity Fair, in particular an article about the polar bears. Fantastic article, especially poignant on Earth Day. Also, on Sunday night Kurty and I watched Expedition Alaska and a few other great shows on Disco. I was feelin' earthy this week, especially as someone I knew is being returned to the earth. Figuratively, perhaps not literally.

Speaking of Earth Day, what do you do to help save the earth? I unplug my cell-phone charger when I'm not charging my phone. I turn off the water when I am brushing my teeth. I recycle as much as I can (not at work, ahem...). And I don't drive a car (as you can tell from the above D5 debacle). I do turn on a lot of lights in my apartment, but we get absolutely no natural light in this shit-box, nor is there a lot of light in my cubbie at work; I think I would kill myself without getting at least some brightness all around for a few hours a day. Sorry, Al Gore. You know I love you and live try to live by my motto What Would Al Gore Do? but I can't be perfect. No one can. And there are few people capable of changing all their ways. But each of us can pick a few little things to be conscious of--that could make a HUGE difference, right?

BTW, how sexy is Madonna? Damn...

xoxox,
MPL

bad news and bad weather

i've had enough of both of those, so here's a good memory [or NOT] from a recent sunny day...

this week

in:
the surprising sweet taste of lactaid milk
deadliest catch
the hokies
5 lb dumbbells
genmaicha
purging clutter
donating old clothes
using my iHome
guitar for dummies on black betty


out:
loud motorcycles whizzing by my apartment
heidi whats-her-name and spencer who-cares
smoking cigarettes
treats
cold, rainy, gray weekends
loud neighbors
guitar hero


neither in nor out, just fun:
the "smile" feature on my camera that automatically finds the mouth in the face of a photo and allows you to turn the lips up to varying degrees! i'm not kidding. so, photo a. is the regular shot; photo b is the altered. we call this series the Muppet-ization of me and kurty, with thanks to the sony cybershot...

a.











b.











a.











b.











a.











b.

i was saved by the pope

yes, it is true. even a rabbi's daughter can be saved. this is how it happened:

7:45 a.m.: awakened by alarm on cell phone. sleepwalk to bathroom to turn it off.

7:55 a.m.: awakened by alarm on cell phone. sleepwalk to bathroom to turn it off, bring phone into bed.

8:00 a.m.: awakened by alarm on cell phone. must have turned it off.

8:22 a.m.: awakened by sheer luck.

8:22 - 8:36: jump out of bed. jump in the shower, rinse hair, put in anti-frizz, brush teeth, throw on some clothes. begin to accept the fact that i am going to miss the 8:31 bus and will have to walk to work or be 20 mins late.

8:36 a.m.: run out of my apartment to start the trek to work, but find the usual cast of characters waiting on the bus, which is unusually late.

8:58 a.m.: after a trip to dean & deluca for my cereal, yogurt, and red-eye, arrive at work to find the office locked and dark--i am not late!!

WHY? because thanks to the papal visit and the traffic nightmares it is causing, i was SAVED! saved from being late to work.

thanks, man...

Penny's Poste-Birthday Bash

A mixed bag of wonderful friends came by Poste to wish me a belated happy birthday. There was the Red Headed Vixen, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Rachel, several members of the former Cleveland Park Men's Club, Lou, her Publicist, Vonkie, the Actor, the Documentarian, Jonesie, Chase, and many other fun characters. The food was mostly good, the drinks were creative and delicious (they use a lot of fresh herbs and house-infused liquors), and I had a blast. There weren't many pictures taken, but here are a few of my favorites from the fantastic night--thank you, Dirty Birdy!!

So Lo'nely, So Lo'nely, So Lo'nely!

Lo' (AKA Lou, Lori, and LCR) has been in the Bluegrass State for the past two days, most likely blazing the bourbon trail on horseback during the days while spending her nights in Cynthiana trying to figure out how to break into the 3-M factory (as the ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD where Post-It Notes are manufactured, it's Lo's Mecca). She was only at work on Mon and Tues, for the love of Pete! (Who the F%^$ is Pete, anyway?)

Miss you, Lo/Lou/LCR...

This one's dedicated to the missing spark in our office:

Lonely, I'm so lonely
I feel so alone
I feel low
I feel so
Feel so low
I feel low, low
I feel low, low, low
I feel low, low, low
I feel low, low, low
I feel low, low, low
I feel low, low, low
Low, I feel low
I feel low
I feel low
I feel so lonely
I feel so lonely
I feel so lonely, lonely, lonely, lone
Lonely, lone
I feel so alone, yeah

couldn't have said it better myself...

I am posting these little gems just to hold over my millions of readers until I post the masterpiece I've been creating over the course of many nights.... :) Enjoy...

(Jimmy=Jimmy Kimmel)

This next one, from T'Shirt Hell's latest newsletter, is as long as the previous is short, but worth the read...

Have you heard? The situation in Iraq has stabilized. Peace is sweeping across the Middle East and our soldiers will be coming home any day now. Also, the economy has completely recovered and gas prices are way down. APRIL FOOLS'! Life still sucks and we'll be stuck in Iraq for another ten years. Isn't that hilarious?

Speaking of the wa- I mean the colossal success in Iraq, we reached yet another milestone this past week when American soldier #4000 was killed in action. But don't you lose any sleep over that. With the economy in the shape that it's in, we'll have a nearly inexhaustible amount of poor people perpetually looking to enlist. And the war has helped cripple the economy, so as you can see, this is all part of God's (George W. Bush's) perfect/hilarious cycle.

In sports news, the NCAA tournament is down to the Final Four. Go Fightin' Who-gives-a-fucks!

In entertainment news, Britney Spears recently appeared on an episode of How I Met Your Mother. And I am beyond burnt out on Britney humor. Just go watch Leno.

Sen. John McCain on Tuesday tried to connect with voters on a personal level by visiting his high school and sharing memories of what he called some of his happiest years. He remembers staying up all night cramming for a chemistry test and proudly said he can still name all four elements.

In a major change, the American Heart Association said Monday that hands-only CPR -- rapid, deep presses on the victim's chest until help arrives -- works just as well as standard CPR for sudden cardiac arrest in adults. So, mouth-to-mouth is no longer necessary. This doesn't really have any effect on my life. I was always more of an ass-to-mouth girl anyway.

Until next time, g'night my loves....

Absinthe Makes the Heart....

Once Upon a Time....the Cool Kid (photo near end) and my honey bunny met me after work for a lovely dinner at Pizzeria Paradiso. After good eats and a Three Philosophers, I was ready to take the big, digestive walk up the hill to our home. As we approached the infamous Dixie Liquor, we saw a chalkboard announcing that an Absinthe tasting a few days later. Well! My honey bunny is pretty obsessed with absinthe, so to hell with waiting a few days--we stopped in right away! Lo and behold they already had a coupla bottles of Lucid in stock, so we came home with one of them. Mmmm, within no time I was seeing little green fairies and swinging from a trapeze in the Moulin Rouge. OK, not really, but we do love us some Absinthe. Give it a try sometime...but don't mix with prescription meds or heavy machinery.

Pour 4 ounces over a cube of sugar (preferably sugar-in-the-raw, but if you're not as classy as Mr Fancy Pants, then regular sugar cubes will do) into a glass with a cube of ice. Then add equal parts of quality H2O. Then blog about your experiences....




So, here are some pics from Easter (my first in 30+ yrs.). I am so effing lucky to
have the best in-laws EVER.
xoxox,

MPL