I Ain't Dead Yet, Muther Fucka!

Peace out, man, and thanks for the years of groundbreaking, outstanding wit and hilarity.

Richard Pryor: 1940-2005

MIA

I know I've been MIA this week. I was babysitting my nephews a lot while my sister-in-law went to some amazing spa in Sedona for her birthday. Anyway, some updates:

Nicole Richie and DJ AM have called off their engagement. Man, I did not see that one coming! Are she and Paris once again mirroring each others lives? Will they become BFF's again since Paris can't be mad that Nicole has something she doesn't? Did Nicole only like DJ AM as a fatty? Will Nicole drop the conversion to Judaism? So many questions unanswered!! All these celeb break-ups!!

Someone who did make it to the alter was Matt Damon, who married his love of two years, Luciana Bozan, at the court house in Manhattan on Friday morning. Damon is so refreshingly low key, but he coulda used best pal George Clooney's place on Lake Como and still maintained some privacy. Then again, her daughter is in school, but they coulda picked another time of year. Oh, well, I am sure they will do something nice to celebrate, and all that they probably care about is that they are married for at least the next four-to-five years.

Looks as though the Brothers Farrelly are up to their old tricks again! The guys who brought us Dumb & Dumber, There's Something About Mary, Outside Providence, and Kingpin (among others) have taken on the Special Olympics with their new movie The Ringer (Johnny Knoxville stars). Although there might be people who find the subject matter to border on (or fly right over into) poor taste, the Special Olympics actually endorses the flick and hopes that the movie will bring a new cache of cool to the organization.

Despite the huge success of last year's stint hosting the Oscars, Chris Rock will not be back to do the honors again this year. From what I've read, this was Chris' call, and he hopes to do it again sometime, just not this year or every year. Maybe I should start a petition to get Letterman back on that stage. Other choices that would be good: Dane Cook (long shot, but a girl can dream), Steve Martin (he has done it well twice), Billy Crystal (always had great opening montages), or...? Any suggestions?

Lost is on hiatus for FIVE! MORE! WEEKS! Come on, ABC! Whatcha tryin' to do to us? What will I do on Wednesday nights? Oh, yeah...maybe I'll work since I finally got a new j-o-b...

Let It Snow!

I took this photo through the screen window a few minutes ago. Maybe I'll venture outside for a better shot once (make that if) we accumulate more. This is DC's first snow of the season, so watch out because each time we get snow, DC acts as though we have never seen snow here: the markets are sold out of water, people drive 5 miles an hour, and schools cancel classes for the next week and a half... As usual, I am sure this will be "all bark and no bite."

Breaking News: Brad Pitt's Insta-Fam

Brad Pitt is legally adopting Angelina Jolie's two kids, and both Maddox and Zahara will have the last name Jolie-Pitt. Wow! I did not see that one coming, especially since they haven't announced any plans to get married. Maybe they won't get married; Angelina hasn't exactly had the best of luck in that department, so I can see how she might just wanna be Pitt's "life partner," have kids together, play house, etc. On the other hand, they probably will get married, at least to protect the interest of the kids.

I can't imagine what Jennifer Aniston was feeling when this news was released by Brad's publicist yesterday. I know she is on to another relationship, but it seems as though there is no longer any denying the fact that Brad was with Angelina before he and Jen were even separated, and him adopting Ang's kids is a huge slap in Jen's face.

Maybe Brad's first act as father will be to discourage Maddox from keeping that awful mohawk. The again, Brad hasn't been making the best hair choices for himself lately, so that is unlikely.

In The News: Jen & Ben, Vince & Jen, Jessica Kicks Herself in the Ass, Blogger Brunch, etc...

LOTS going on today! Let's get started.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a baby girl. (Everyone together now: awwwww!) First reports are that they named her Violet. That will work great for her when she's a grandma in the year 2065. Until then, there's the schoolyard teasing: "Violet! You're turning violet, Violet!" The name is just one letter away from violent, which is never good. Anyway, I am sure they'll be great parents, regardless of the scarring they've inflicted with the name. (No offense to Scottish Lass's mum!)

Vince Vaughn, with Jennifer in the passenger seat, was pulled over in Scottsdale, AZ, where they were visiting his father. Vince was given a sobriety test, which he passed. Regardless, the two cuties piled into their friends' car. (Vince--be careful with Jennifer!!)

Speaking of drunk driving, within fifteen minutes of each other, both Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros were charged with DUI in Hawaii (the chicas star on Lost). Bet they wish they'd driven together. Makes me glad I don't have a car.

Oh, man! Did ya watch Oprah on Letterman? Now that was a good show, people! Oprah looked absolutely gorgeous! I loved that dress, and all the shades of purple that were going on all over the place. Dave was like a teenager on a first date, I tell ya, especially when he was escorting her to the Broadway Theater. Of course, he's not accustomed to all that paparazzi. He even whispered to Oprah "Can you see anything?" with regard to all the flashes (thanks to my best friend, I can kinda read lips, so watch out!). In the photo to the right, Oprah is presenting Dave with a photo of her and Uma, signed "Love, Uma. More love, Oprah." The only thing that bugged me was that several times, Oprah pointed out that they were actually having a conversation and he wasn't just throwing jokes out there. Overall, there were some really good lines by Dave, and Oprah was a great guest.

Doh! Turns out that Jessica Simpson didn't want to sign a pre-nup that soon-to-be-ex Nick Lachey had drawn up before they were married. Although that was smart of her at the time (she had high hopes for them to defy the odds, and he was making a lot more with that boy band), she could now get screwed big time! As we all know, their financial positions did a big ol' flip flop, and now she is worth a helluva lot more that Nick (sister earned $35 mill in 2004 alone). Under Cali law, all monies earned during the marriage can be split 50/50; therefore, if they don't settle out of court, Jess could be handing Nick tens of millions of dollars. If he is smart, they won't be settling out of court, but they both better watch their steps in the meantime.

Remember that post I did a couple days ago for my Sony Home Theater system? Well, get this! Some girl offered me more than I was asking. Maybe she got Craig's List confused with eBay, but I ain't complaining!

Who am I gonna see at the blogger brunch on Sunday?? 12:30 at Asylum in Adams Morgan. Don't gimme any of that "I'll be partying too hard Saturday night to make it to brunch on Sunday." The best cure is the hair of the dog that bit ya, so get yer arse up and order a couple bloody marys. Besides, since I have no life anymore, this brunch will be my only recent social event, so be there! Oh, and OF COURSE, the brunch is all for Chase, which is a much better argument.

P.S. My photo page has been updated. Well, maybe not, as blogger is being a prick, but I am trying to update.

Reminders

One important, one not-so-much, but both regarding December 1.

December 1 is World AIDS Day, a global event started in 1988 to promote action and awareness. The theme for this year, chosen by UNAIDS, is Keep the Promise. Those who know me well know that I used to work in HIV/AIDS education and prevention, and that it is a cause about which I care a great deal. Just a few facts:

Every day in Africa, HIV/AIDS kills 6,600 people, 8,800 people are infected with the HIV virus, and at least 1,400 newborn babies are infected during childbirth.

There were 37.2 million adults and 2.2 million children worldwide living with HIV at the end of 2004.

During the year 4.9 million people became newly infected with the virus.

Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35.

Around 95% of people with HIV/AIDS live in developing nations. But HIV today is a threat to men, women and children on all continents around the world.

This pandemic is preventable, which makes these statistics all the more sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The second reminder about today is that Oprah is finally appearing on Late Night with David Letterman, so make sure you watch it!