When Can I Get Mine?

I love Charlize Theron; in fact, she asked me to tell all of you out there that her last name is pronounced Thair -en, simple as that, no silent "n" or rolled "r." Anyway, I think she is a great actress, a lovely person, and absolutely gorgeous; however, are they just handing these fuckers out now?? She is only 30! She's only been working in the industry for 12 years, at best! Look, the girl should get a star; I'm just saying that maybe she could get it when she's, like, 65 or something...

It really does seem as though these stars are getting easy to come by. By the way, Ms. Theron is on Oprah today.

Sorry, folks, that's all I got...Have a great weekend. Taste of Bethesda, anyone?

November 18th Ain't Soon Enough (Revised with quotes from RS interview)

I've had a thing for Joaquin Phoenix since he was in Parenthood (as Leaf Phoenix) way back in 1989 (if you've never seen Parenthood, run to Blockbuster or add it to your queue ASAP!), so I would be excited about Walk the Line regardless of its plot. Fortunately, The Artist Formerly Known As The Chef introduced me to Johnny Cash several years ago, so I am even more anxious to see the Johnny Cash bio, opening November 18th. Oscar buzz has already begun for Joaquin's performance, as well as Reese Witherspoon's portrayal of June Carter Cash. Joaquin does all the singing and guitar playing, and it is seriously fucking eerie how much he sounds like Johnny. Joaquin is a hard core bad ass.

Watch the trailer for Walk the Line, and tell me he isn't incredible. Also, check out this month's Rolling Stone for a really great article with (and a super hot photo of) Joaquin. Hint: He absolutely hates any questions about anything other than the movie he is promoting and has a tendency to walk out on interviews, which the interviewer knows. She, nonetheless, decides she has to push his buttons by asking a personal question worthy of fucking Bop magazine [sidebar: I can't believe that mag still exists!!], so he ends the interview like this:

It sucks when you spend four months prepping for something and its reduced to this shit... The press always looks for an angle. Well, fuck, man. I think the angle is that Reese and I spent fucking four months prepping for a fucking movie and we learned to sing and play instruments. If that's not enough for a fucking story, then I don't know what you need me to do -- shoot myself on the fucking set? What is going to satisfy people's need for sensationalism?

Then, when the bitch keeps sticking her foot in her mouth so far that her toes come out her ass by asking why he hates interviews, he retorts with:

It really taints what's beautiful about acting and makes me lose interst in working. I don't have the desire to be the subject of conversation.

He stood up and said "I quit." and left. Yee haw!! You all know just by reading this crap-fest of a blog that I am a pop-culture whore, but I actually love that Joaquin is so private and that I know absolutely nothing about him.

...and we all thought Virginia couldn't get any worse!

(Lifted directly from WaPo.com)

If you liked him as Bennifer . . . you'll love him as Benator!

That's the hot new idea being tossed around by Virginia Democrats, who are desperately searching for a big name to challenge the reelection bid of rising GOP star Sen. George Allen next year, now that outgoing Gov. Mark Warner has ducked out.

Why, who should happen to be pondering a move to Thomas Jefferson country but a certain square-jawed media magnet with a taste for liberal politics and millions to spend on it . . . Ben Affleck ! Star of "Gigli" and the J.Lo tab romance, now happily settled with "Alias" star Jennifer Garner.

The couple, expecting their first child, have been shopping for real estate around Charlottesville. British tabloids claim it's a done deal; we will only go so far as to report that they checked out at least one country estate a few weeks ago.

It was about that time that party officials started batting Affleck's name around. "It's spread pretty widely, at least in the political underground," University of Virginia professor Larry Sabato, Virginia's premier pundit, told Michael Shear, The Post's Richmond correspondent.

Another name on the wish list: blockbuster legal-thriller writer John Grisham . But the central Virginia farmhouse owner, who gives generously to Democrats and did a stint in the Mississippi legislature, has brushed off past overtures, sources say.

In truth, the Dems are less concerned with beating Allen than slowing him down. Both he and Warner are eyeing the 2008 presidential race.

Affleck spokesman Ken Sunshine said the rumors are baseless, though "he would be a superb candidate for public office in the future. Right now, he's very busy directing his first feature movie for Disney, 'Gone, Baby, Gone.'"

Does it matter that the guy is a Southie, never having lived in VA? Oh, yeah, add to that the fact that he has NO political experience?? Hmm, guess not...

They're both lucky bitches...

Sources have confirmed that Hollywood couple DEMI MOORE and ASHTON KUTCHER wed in a secret ceremony Saturday night at a private home in Beverly Hills. US Magazine reports that the nuptials were performed before a small group of family and friends including BRUCE WILLIS and LUCY LIU.

The 42-year-old Demi and 27-year-old Ashton have been inseparable since they were introduced to each other through their mutual friend, actress SARA FOSTER, back in 2003. They made their first public outing together in June of that year at the 'Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle' premiere, where they arrived on the red carpet with Demi's ex, Bruce, and family in tow.

Ashton had previously been dating his 'Just Married' co-star BRITTANY MURPHY [ewww!]. The two split amicably in April 2003 and soon the headlines were filled with Ashton and Demi.

Wedding rumors have been floating ever since he appeared overcome with emotion for his new lady love in April on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" when he tearfully revealed, "I love being with her. She makes me a better person." [It truly was uber-sweet, and lacked any couch-jumping or other embarrassing overreactions.]

The "Punk'd" king is close with Demi's kids, RUMER, SCOUT and TALLULAH [of course, they're close to his age!], who have reportedly moved with their mom from Idaho to a Hollywood Hills mansion together. He even gets along with Bruce. The 'Sin City' star has agreed to make a special guest appearance on an upcoming episode of "That '70s Show." He'll play Vic, a fast-talking security head at Chicago's Playboy Club, who interviews Kutcher's character, Kelso, for a security gig at the club. [Now that I can't wait to see!]

Well, smack my ass and call me Judy!

Last Thursday, I went to DC dot gov to file a service request for some potholes on Connecticut Ave to be fixed. Actually, there was one small pothole; the real problem was that there were loose manhole covers and a big steel plate, so when busses or trucks drive over them (which is every minute) the noise is like an explosion (no joke) right outside our bedroom window.

This morning, I woke up to the sound of jackhammers right outside my window. Really nice thing to wake up to after last night's wine binge... Anyway, turns out that the manhole covers are being fixed and the big steel plate is being tarred to the ground as we speak!! My service request is marked as "Closed." I am seriously shocked. Now let's just hope that their work actually makes the noise stop (haven't heard anything yet!!).

If it is going to be this easy, DC next needs to make online forms available for better schools and less crime...

Thank God I Don't Usually Work Wednesday Nights!!

Tonight at 8: Special Catch-Up (not to be confused with ketchup) episode to help all of you losers who LOST out on the 1st season.

Tonight at 9: The season premiere of the 2nd season of Lost!! I am so psyched. According to ABC: In the season premiere, one of the castaways is chosen to descend into the mysterious hatch, and Shannon stumbles upon a shockingly familiar face in the jungle. (Her former lover/step-brother, Boone?! Yummy!) I really wanna know what happens with Walt, Michael's son, who was abducted by pirates at the end of season 1. Some think those pirates are "the others," but I'm not so sure. Also, I wanna know why Hurley hasn't LOST a fucking pound?? I never see anyone eatin', and the gods know he woulda dropped a few LB's by now! Good news for you fans of hot chicks, there is at least one new babe on the island.

Following at 10:00: Invasion. Hmmm, gonna watch it, but not so sure what to expect. Let's hope it's good. "Mommy, you smell different."

The Chef/Master Carpenter, Chase, and I will be couching hard-core while drinking lots o' wine. I picked up some yummy 2002 reserve shiraz from Yellow Tail. (Click that link!! They have a BLOG!!) The bottle was signed by the owner of Casella Estate, John Casella (the big fella in the yellow tie in the menu bar when ya click on his name). He made his only wine-shop stop in the entire US at Cleveland Park Liquors. I didn't make it there, but Tony saved me a signed bottle and gave me a taste of his left-overs (left-over wine?? who are these people??).

I love me some Richard Branson, so when I spotted a bottle of Virgin Vines' (yes, that Virgin) Shiraz, I had to ask about it. I'll letcha know how it is, but reviews from the fellas at the shop are positive. The bottle and text on the back are pretty kick-ass, too (as is the web site!).

I Need Help

FU**!!!! FU**!!!! FU**!!!! I had to work last night, and we forgot to set the VCR to tape (we're old-fashioned that way--no TiVo), so we missed both My Name is Earl and The Office. Chase said they were hysterical. I am bummed! So, who out there TiVo'd or taped the shows and wants to help a sister out?

Oprah for President

***New Preface*** Oprah has power, man. No one can deny that. She puts people on the best seller list just by saying a book title, she can raise hundreds of thousands in one day for LiveStrong just by challenging her audience, and I am confident that her Katrina efforts will raise millions of dollars and help build hundreds of new homes. A few readers and commenters have been cynical about her, and I know that goes with the flow, but no one can deny what an amazing, powerful, compassionate woman she is.

You are an inspiration in so, so many ways, and you are the epitome of humanitarian. On top of it all, you also look simply fabulous. I love you, and after you donated 10,000,000 of your own dollars to help rebuild and furnish homes in New Orleans, I love you even more.

On today's show, Oprah announced that she will donate $10 mill toward rebuilding homes and lives in the aftermath of Katrina, and that she also set up a registry so people can purchase items from couches to pots & pans to furnish and equip the new homes. You can also sponsor an entire house ($50, 000) and make cash donations via the new site.



By the way, Jennifer Aniston looks amazing; I freakin' love her, too! Oprah's interview with her was way too short, though...

Why I also can't work Monday nights anymore...

Things ya need to know first:

• You can click on [most] photos for links to shows sites.
• I don't have TiVo or DVR, nor does my VCR currently work through my TV, so don't waste your comments on recommending those as reasons why I should continue working nights. I'm tellin' ya, the only option is to quit the hostessing gig (or you can buy me a TiVo).
• I also don't have cable, so network TV channels are, sadly, the only options here, folks.
• I am aware that this, previous, and subsequent posts only serve to prove to the entire world that I love me some TV... a little too much.

One of the best shows on TV -- you need to be watching this Mondays at 8:00:

The family that cheats together stays together. At the start of the third season, Lucille (Jessica Walter) dates other men while her husband (Jeffrey Tambor) is under house arrest; Lindsay (Portia de Rossi) and Tobias (David Cross) get more out of their marriage by sleeping around; and Buster (Tony Hale) fakes a persistent vegetative state to continue his ''affair'' with a nurse. New this season: Charlize Theron guest stars as Michael (Justin Bateman) Bluth's g'friend. Not sure what Job is up to this season, but I am sure it will have something to do with taking advantage of the family.


This is followed at 8:30, also on Fox, by a newbie that I wanna see (not many preconceived notions on my part, but maybe it will be as funny as promised):

KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL
Based on renowned chef Anthony Bourdain’s best-selling autobiography (of which I read most, but, sadly, never finished), the sitcom centers around Chef Jack Bourdain (played by Alias' loss, KC's gain, the yummy Bradley Cooper), who found enormous success at a young age. Unfortunately, Jack’s culinary genius also led to a lifestyle of boozing, womanizing and drugs — excesses that eventually landed him in the gutter. After hitting rock bottom and deciding to sober up, the only job he could get was slopping soggy pasta for the masses at a tacky opera-themed restaurant. Out of the blue, Jack is offered an opportunity to get back in the game as head chef at a top New York restaurant. There’s just one problem: the owner gives Jack a mere 48 hours to fully staff his kitchen and prepare to dazzle over 300 customers – including the food critic for the New York Times (who also happens to be a jilted ex). Jack hastily assembles a renegade crew of colleagues from his past. Also along for the ride are a sexy hostess (played by Jaime King), and the owner’s gorgeous daughter who can’t wait for Jack to fail (played by Bonnie Somerville, Friend Ross Geller's one-time girlfriend Mona). ***AFTER THE SHOW UPDATE*** It was OK. I laughed and I liked the characters, but it was kinda cheesey, especially the end of the episode. Since I read (most of) the book, it is weird to watch Anthony Bourdaine's chronicals in a half-hour comedy; I would have expected an hour-long, more dramatic series with natural hints of humor from "the floor."

OK, this is where I am stuck like a bump on a frog for an hour. There is NOTHING on between 9 and 10; I'm not a Las Vegas fan, but the addition of Lara Flynn Boyle may change my mind. There are truly not that many great shows on Monday nights, haven't been for a long time and may not be this year (something to do with that football game on Monday nights??), so I am really hoping that Kitchen Confidential fills at least one half-hour gap between Arrested Development and Medium. Which brings me to the return of . . .



Part 2 of last season's cliffhanger premiers Sept 19 at 10. While Capt. Push (guest star Arliss Howard) lingers between life and death, Allison (Emmy nominee Patricia Arquette) struggles to decipher confusing messages from the other side in an attempt to stop a serial killer before he claims his next victim. Jake Weber, Miguel Sandoval, David Cubitt, Sofia Vassilieva and Maria Lark also star. I love this show not only for the supernatural and criminal pursuit levels, but also because of the marriage and family aspect. Allison has three daughters (the oldest of which gets on my nerves with her bratty facial expressions) and a (hot) husband, and the show doesn't shy away from showing how home life is effected by her foray into her position with the DAs office.



And that's all for tonight's broadcast. Stay tuned for your local news and tomorrow's post on why I can't work Wednesdays (patience, Young Grasshoppers).

I am SHOCKED!

(NOT!!) Damn, I shoulda placed a wager on this one.

Bridget Jones is untying the knot. Renee Zellweger, who played the lovelorn Brit in "Bridget Jones's Diary," and country music star Kenny Chesney will have their four-month-old marriage annulled, Chesney's publicist, Holly Gleason, and Zellweger's Los Angeles-based publicist Nanci Ryder, confirmed to The Associated Press on Thursday.

In court papers filed Wednesday, Zellweger listed "fraud" as the reason for the breakup but did not elaborate.

FRAUD? Ooo, now this sounds a lot more fun than your average celeb-split! She is getting the marriage annulled. Slam! I personally don't get the whole annulment thing.

"So, you ever been married?" he asks.
"Well, not really," she begins. "I did get married, but I got it annulled, so it doesn't count."

WTF? IT COUNTS! IT HAPPENED! Ask those who were at your wedding; it happened. (Take a look at all your debt from the wedding; it happened!) It may not have worked out, but you were married! You can't change that. What especially gets me is when couples have their marriages annulled after they've been married for years, have kids together, etc. That's not just a slam to your spouse, it also ain't so nice to your kids. For some people, annulment seems to be a religious thing. Puh-leeze! The marriage still happened! Your god knows. Get over it!

I'm so curious about the freud allegations!! And, WTF? Between this guy and Keith Urban, this rock & roll girl might have to go a little country... YUM!

Why I can't work nights anymore...Part I

Sorry, I can't work Tuesday nights...


Earl (Jason Lee) has taken one too many wrong turns on the highway of life. However, a twist of fate turns his life into a tailspin of life-renewing events. Earl wins a small lottery, and, after an epiphany, is determined to transform his good fortune into a life-changing event as he sets out to right all the wrongs from his past.

For me, Jason Lee. (Hello!! If for nothing else, I covet him for Almost Famous!!) For the fellas, a couple o' hot girls. (Jaime Pressly & Nadine Velasquez.) Premieres September 20.


Followed by....(drum roll, please!)

The return of:





The Office!! Also premiering Sept 20.






Tomorrow: Why I can't work Wednesday nights, either...

Aspire to Inspire, Wednesday Night at 9:00

After the blogger Happy Hour, hop on up to The Avalon Theatre to catch 3 short films:

U Street Blue, written and directed by Raafi Rivero. A homeless man finds an engagement ring on the street and spends the day searching for the woman who lost it.

Snapshot, directed by Kevin Coleman. An aspiring photographer learns to embrace the beauty and depravity of an East LA gang community one violent afternoon.

Gratuity's Included, written and directed by Imhotep Coleman. A career waiter tries to make sense of restaurant patrons and their requests. An intimate insight of the waiter, his clientele, service with a smile, and gratuity with a grimace.

The show starts at 9:00 and costs $8.50.

Adams Morgan Day 2005

The Chef and I went to St. Ex for brunch. Very, very good food, and a very, very large pitcher of Bloody Mary.









Wake up, Honey! There's a bloody hell of a lot of Mary left to finish!!

Our celebration of Adams Morgan Day involved sitting on our asses drinking many beers inside Toledo Lounge. I'm sure the music and food were great, but I can't really claim to know...

Sesame Street Rules

Inspired by The Boy's desire for a new/old toy, I bring you reasons why Sesame Street still rocks:






Kami: In 2002, the South African Sesame Street introduced an HIV+ character.










Dr. Feel: In 2004, US Sesame Street introduced Dr. Feel to help kids deal with their emotions.

Sunday, September 11 from Noon - 6

Great music, dance, and performances, arts & crafts, international food, a kids' fair, and lots and lots of fun!
Most bars are open all day, too.

Mr. Chen's Organic Chinese

File under "Oh No You Dih-int!!!"

I've been ordering from Mr. Chen's in Woodley Park since they opened at least 6 or 7 years ago. Yesterday, the guy who delivered balked at the tip I gave him and asked me "That all you give for tip?" I wish I had handed him back the bag of food and taken back my cash, but instead, I ran and got him another dollar, explaining that it was all the cash I had (which was absolutely true). What I did next was very passive aggressive, but I slammed the door as he turned down the hall (our door makes a lot of noise).

My tip wasn't poor to begin with (The Chef agreed). I seriously am considering never ordering from there again, but that might only be spiting myself. What to do? Also, what do you consider to be an appropriate tip for delivery? (By the way, the food was the worst I've ever had from there, too, so maybe it won't be spiting myself to boycot them.)

On another, related, note: I hostess at a restaurant and am amazed at how few people tip on carry-out. Our prices for carry-out are lower, so they're already saving by not eating in, but do they think that the food magically appeared in that bag? People are still doing work to feed them. I am not saying by any means that carry-out requires a 15-or-20% tip, but a buck or two would be really nice.

This is Fabulous

Thanks to Gallery of the Absurd for this one...

Some Good News

Lance Lance Romance and Sheryl Crow got engaged over the weekend.

Oh Fu*%!!! Part Two

Bush Nominates Roberts as Chief Justice

"Surry I cain't lookya in the, the, the, the eye, John. Gotta make sher I can connectimate my hand tuh yers."

By the way, are any of the other justices pissed that someone not even confirmed yet is up for the biggest post?

Oh Fu*%!!!

We are so screwed....

Chief Justice William Rehnquist died on Saturday evening at his home in Arlington, Va., a spokeswoman for the the supreme court announced.
"The Chief Justice battled thyroid cancer since being diagnosed last October and continued to perform his duties on the court until a precipitous decline in his health the last couple of days," Kathy Arberg, the court's spokeswoman said. The chief justice was surrounded by his three children at the time of his death, she said.

He was so creepy looking that I can't blog up my blog with his photo. You'll just have to click the link for the story...

Go Fish

Last night, The Chef made an impromptu reservation at Black Salt Fish Market & Restaurant on MacArthur Blvd. in Palisades. We went there for my birthday in April, and that experience definitely warrented a return--many returns, actually. Owner Jeff Black also owns Addie's, Blacks Bar & Kitchen, & Black Market Bistro. (They have no Web sites, by the way.) Be sure to make a reservation (202-342-9101); The Chef called at 7 and got a reservation for 8:30, so it isn't always difficult, but without a reservation, you will be seated in the bar area, which is nice, but the back rooms are nicer.

We started at the bar with a mojito for The Chef (adorned with a stick of rock candy and quite excellent) and a DC Cooler for me (combo of ameretto, cranberry, vodka, and something else). Once seated, The Chef had another mojito, and I had a lemon lime drop (sssstrong!!).

To start, we shared French mussels (with sorrel, Pernod, aioli, and fennel), and a 1/2 ounce of Copper River Salmon Roe with the traditional condiments. Silly me, I didn't realize the mussels would be in a cream sauce (I guess the "French" shoulda clued me in), so certainly not low-cal, but definitely high-flavor. The Chef had an over-the-top clam chowder with fried Ipswich clams and fresh sea clams. Their breads, all made in-house, are excellent.

To accompany our bottle of red wine, The Chef had Maine diver scallops with crawfish butter, whipped pototoes, and bacon braised collards. I am allergic to scallops, so he got those all to himself. I had an Alaskan halibut with Kennett Square mushrooms, fingerling potatoes, and asparagus, all atop a sweet corn sauce. Beautiful presentation all around, and scrump-diddly-umptious food.

If you ever go to a restaurant with The Chef, be prepared to run into a LOT of people he knows. 23+ years in the DC restaurant industry, ya know...

We were far too full for dessert, but Pastry Chef Susan Wallace makes some outrageous treats: key lime pie with blueberry compote, butterscotch pot de creme, chocolate peanut butter crunch cake, and many more.

WebCowGirl is going tonight, so hopefully she will post her review tomorrow.